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Yet Another Michael Moore Letter to Spoof November 27, 2005

Posted by Administrator in Blogging, Cultural Pessimism, Politics.

You’d think the idiot would quit while he was already behind. . .

Sorry, George, I’m In the Majority …from Michael Moore

Already off on the wrong foot. . .and the letter hasn’t even STARTED yet.


Dear Mr. Bush:

I would like to extend my hand and invite you to join us, the mainstream American majority. We, the people — that’s the majority of the people — share these majority opinions:

Meaning, of course, that they are your opinions. Of course you provide CNN poll data. . .but isn’t this typical Monday Morning Quarterbacking? Something you are really very good at. (As opposed to filmmaking).

Tell me, Mr. Moore. Let us consider for just a moment that the poll data are accurate. What if the question were skewed just a bit, and asked: “Do you agree with Michael Moore’s views on the war and the Bush Administration?”

I bet we’d get some REALLY different data. . .indicating that you are in fact far from the mainstream.

But that question would never be asked. Too nice to the Bush Administration, don’t you know.

1. Going to war was a mistake — a big mistake.


Nothing is said in the CNN data about “big” mistakes. But your pal Bill Clinton certainly had something to say about it. Stay tuned for coverage on that little tidbit. And see above comment.

2. You and your administration misled us into this war. (link)

And what about the fact that the Clinton Administration gave utter credence to Iraq’s possession of WMDs and intent to produce nuclear weapons?

Oh. I keep forgetting. With you guys, it’s never the message, but the messenger that determines the truth. If Caligula said the sky is blue, then it must be blue. But if Bush says it’s blue, you say it’s been red all along. Funny how you leave out that critical piece of information.

But then, you couldn’t MMQB as effectively, could you?

And notice, it is old Gov. Caligula himself who terms this the “big” mistake? You’re hurtin’, Mike, when you are stealing material from Billary.

3. We want the war ended and our troops brought home. (link)

No duh. So does everyone else. ONCE THE JOB IS FINISHED, FOOL!!! Not even the TROOPS want out before that.

4. We don’t trust you. (link)

. Umm, from you, this is news?

Now, I know this is a bitter pill to swallow. Iraq was going to be your great legacy. Now, it’s just your legacy. It didn’t have to end up this way.

. Screwed up again. Timely, genuine leadership at the time of 9-11 will be his legacy, not to mention actually bringing democracy to that jaded land, despite your terminal treason in hacking at the country’s Achilles tendons every chance you get.

This week, when Republicans and conservative Democrats started jumping ship, you lashed out at them.

HELLO!! WHAT??? A vote of 403-3 to stay until the job is done, and that is jumping ship????

You thought the most damning thing you could say to them was that they were “endorsing the policy positions of Michael Moore and the extreme liberal wing of the Democratic party.”

And you thought you were in the majority.

I mean, is that the best you can do to persuade them to stick with you — compare them to me?

Your point there. This is akin to saying that they are all “fat and ugly.”

Wait a minute. . .

You gotta come up with a better villain.

Whatever for? You spout utter gibberish, you just BEG for attention, and you make a target that is REALLY EASY to hit!!

For heaven’s sakes, you had a hundred-plus million other Americans who think the same way I do — and you could have picked on any one of them!

There’s that majority thing getting in your way again.

But hey, why not cut out the name-calling and the smearing and just do the obvious thing:

Ignore you? That would actually be a wise idea.

Come join the majority! Be one of us, your fellow Americans! Is it really that hard? Is there really any other choice? George, take a walk on the wild side!

I think we’ve already dealt with this.

Your loyal representative from the majority,

. Loyal? You’ve GOT to be kidding me.

Michael Moore

The only reason I can see him writing these letters is because he likes to hear himself talk/write. That and he has hordes of adoring, unthinking fans who soak up every word he generates. . .which is depressing in a microcosmic sense. . .and so he can then bask in the further adulation given him for dispensing such “wisdom.”

In short, the guy is an ego freak of the first water.

Nevertheless, the writing and posting of such sententious, disingenuous twaddle serves for some fine cannon fodder.

SUPPORTERS: Please write your own spoofs on your websites. . .or submit them to the e-mail at the bottom of the page. . .and I’ll post the best of ’em here.

Surely someone can do better than me. I mean, I cranked this baby out in less than 10 mimutes.

Link to previous spoof: Spoofing rich fat,unkempt documentary filmmakers.



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