Walker Percy #4 June 10, 2006Posted by Administrator in Family, Smart People.
Continuing from bits taken from The Thanatos Syndrome:
. . .How strange it is that we love our children and can't stand them or they us. Love them? Yes, for true. Think of the worst thing that could happen to you. It is that something should happen to your son or daughter, he get hurt or killed or die of leukemia; that she be raped, kidnapped get hooked on drugs. This is past bearing. Can't stand them? Right. When we're with the, we're not with them, not in the very present but casting ahead of them and the very present, planning tomorrow, regretting yesterday, worrying about money and next year.
Counselors counsel parents: Communicate? Communicate with your kids! Communication is the key!!
This is ninety percent psycho-crap and ten percent truth, but truth of a peculiar sort.
I don't communicate with Tommy and he doesn't with me, beyond the single flick of an eye, a nod, a downpull of the lip. If I sat Tommy down and said, Son, let's have a little talk, it would curdle him and curdle me, as it should.
Imagine Dr. Sarah Smart, syndicated columnist and apostle of total communication, showing up one night and saying to her daughter, "Let's have a little talk". I hope her daughter would tell Mom to shove off."
Percy is quite right, in a way only people who have had children can know. Yet sometimes, the communication can happen in odd ways.
Take yesterday, the lat day of school. My eldest son arranged for a group of his friends to go see MI3. Since they needed transport, I offered to drive if they approved my going to the film with them. They were happy to have me along.
Saw the film, then everyone retired to my home, where my wife had dinner waiting. They ate and goofed around for about 3 hours, then came back into the house, looking for something to do. Music was put on; and they sang along for awhile, then i had the spontaneous idea of clearing the furniture away to create a makeshift dance-floor, put on what limited dance music we had (including such OLD stuff as Earth, Wind and Fire and Aretha Franklin) and they (as well as my wife and I) held a spontaneous dance.
I had a hoot. I hope the kids had fun, and it surely seemed to me that they did.
Sometime to communicate is just to be WITH your kids.