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Political Correctness Invades Safeco Field July 25, 2008

Posted by Administrator in Humor, Idiots, Soviet of Seattle, Sports, wtf?.
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Peanuts to be banned in two sections of Seattle’s Safeco field.

Words fail me, but they do not fail Intern Bill of The BigLead.

In case you’re worried about some people saying that you’re raising a bunch of completely sheltered, overmedicated freaks, we’re here to say “that’s OK!” Because we here at Safeco Field know that when you have a kid who is really just an obnoxious moron, we call it “Asperger’s Syndrome.” It saves you from the needless discomfort of actually disciplining your kids. When you have a girl who is just a little on the chunky side, we say that she’s got “Celiac Disease,” and she needs to watch her gluten intake. We wouldn’t want to call her fat, hide the ice cream, and strategically place issues of Seventeen magazine in her room, because that might not be good for her self-esteem. And finally, when your little vag-dumpling is so highly-medicated that he/she/or-whatever-gender-they’re-free-to-choose are walking around like Zach Braff in the 1st part of Garden State, they might be zombies and wearing weird eye makeup, but at least they won’t be offending anyone!

The Seattle Mariners! Last place in the standings, and last place in life! It’s called “SAFE-co Field” for a reason!

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